The singer was constantly referred to as “the fat, ugly one.”
Jesy Nelson appeared on the X Factor in 2011. She gained fame after being grouped together with Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Jade Thrilwall and Perrie Edwards. They formed the group ‘Little Mix’.
The 28-year-old spoke to BBC Three for her upcoming documentary. She opened up about the trolls and bullying she suffered through during her time at X-Factor and even later.
Nelson said, “I had about 101 Facebook messages in my inbox, and the first one that came up was from some random man, saying: ‘You are the ugliest thing I’ve seen in my life, you do not deserve to be in this girl band. You deserve to die’.”
Jesy called it “the worst time of her life”. Adding, “I wasn’t just known as one of the singers in Little Mix, I was known as ‘the fat, ugly one’.”
She further talked about her return to the British reality show. Saying, “I’d lost quite a bit of weight, and we were going back on X Factor to perform our new single. All I cared about was people seeing me and saying ‘Oh, she looks good’. I starved myself for a week.”
The singer further confessed, “I thought, ‘I could be the skinniest girl in the world, and this is never going to go away’. That was the point I got severely depressed. I was sat in bed crying, thinking, ‘This is never going to go, I’m going to feel sad for the rest of my life, so what is the point in being here?’”
Nelson continued, “The only way I can describe the pain is like constantly being heartbroken. I remember going to the kitchen and I just took as many tablets as I could. Then my ex, who was with me at the time, he woke up and was like, ‘why are you crying?’ I kept saying, ‘I just want to die’.”
“Back then I just thought everyone hated me,” she continued. “But no, actually, they’re doing it because they feel bad about themselves. So now when I look at trolls being nasty, I feel a bit sorry for them. The only way I can understand it is that being nasty makes them feel better in themselves. I didn’t have the mindset to think like that back then – I wish I did.”
She further said that she is “a completely different person now.” Adding: “I’m a lot happier and mentally stronger. I really wanted to make this because, as much as it was a horrible experience for me, I want to make something good come out of it.”
“I’ve got this huge platform – why would I not use that to raise awareness of how social media is affecting people?” the Little Mix singer concluded.
Later, her boyfriend, Love Island’s Chris Hughes commended Nelson on Twitter. Writing, “My girlfriend is the best motha f***ing role model on this planet.”
Jesy Nelson: ‘Odd One Out’ will release on BBC One on September 12.
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